Back to Top

Bill Lant, Class Act

Via The Pitch

Somehow, Missouri state Rep. Bill Lant, of Pineville, thought that a blog post that started out about the increasing instances of child abuse in the state was an appropriate venue to also reminisce about the breasts of one of his high school classmates from 50 years ago.

Here's what Lant wrote in his very public weekly newsletter to constituents:

 Jane and I took a trip to Collinsville, Illinois, on Friday to attend my 50th Class Reunion. What a bizarre experience that turned out to be!  To begin with, that was my first time to attend a reunion. I had not seen a single one of the 320 people I graduated with in 50 years. Somewhere in the recesses of my feeble mind, I expected them to still be 18 like the last time I saw them. Not even close! Just like most reunions, the jocks all sat at the same table, (not many of them would fit around it) and the cheerleaders stayed home because they didn't want us to see how old they looked. We found some folks that I just barely remembered and had a great time talking about the jocks and the cheerleaders. The high point for Jane was getting to meet the girl I have mentioned more than a few times over the years because she totally distracted me in Algebra class by wearing a tight cardigan! She even had an exotic name, [____]! It never failed, Mr. Howerton would catch me staring at her and smack me across the knuckles with a ruler. I'm not kidding, have you ever noticed how gnarly my knuckles are? Well, [____] came running over and gave me a big hug and I thought she must have been one of the teachers. Wow! Time has not been kind to that girl! What was stretching the cardigan 50 years ago is now bumping the belt. Jane was laughing so hard she was turning blue. We had a great time after all and it was topped off by the staff at the Holiday Inn Express we stayed at. I have stayed at a lot of hotels over the years but I have never seen such a fun and courteous crew as they were. Being nice when you don't have to is something we all should do more of!

Just, yikes. 


Update: And now Lant is a national punchline.